Reflections of a Serial Quitter
Looking back on the last several years, it feels like God’s plan for my life and my plan have only occasionally intersected. He’s got a clear path and purpose marked out for me and He has shared that with me through a deep knowing: I am a healer.
Now, this does not mean that I have any power, personally. I want to be clear about that. I do have some education and understanding that enable me to share yoga practices, and I have been attuned to channel Reiki. I have practiced these two things—yoga and Reiki—for several years and I apply what I have learned to help others heal through movement, breathing, etc. and by creating a safe space for release of energy blockages in the mind, body, and spirit. It is not within the realm of my abilities to physically heal anyone. But, by helping people feel safe, praying for their healing, and simultaneously inviting the abundant healing energy of The Divine into our shared space, healing happens. It’s a lot like magic. I never really know what to expect or how a session will go, but I can always feel the energy flowing, and I know that it is working at some level.
So, now that we’re clear on that, why, exactly, do I keep getting distracted from my God-given purpose? Well, I look for validation from people and the outside world. I feel like I SHOULD be earning more money. I SHOULD be perceived as valuable and productive. So, I begin to look for a “real” job, one that will undoubtedly stifle any spark of creativity, energy, or desire to pursue my true purpose. (Seriously? Yes, seriously. I’ve been through this cycle. This ain’t my first rodeo.) But I still know my purpose. I only forget it for a time. Eventually, my body and my mental state remind me of my purpose, or maybe they remind me that what I’m doing is counter to my purpose. And it takes a while for that to sink in. Maybe weeks, months, or longer of mental cloudiness, listlessness, depression, tiredness, muscle soreness, and stiffness. So I begin to take note of the fact that I’m miserable…again. The physical discomfort repels me from my anti-purpose, and the words of support, gratitude, and encouragement from you, my clients and students, draw me toward my purpose.
Those of you who’ve known me for a while know that I’m a serial quitter. I’ve quit four jobs and been fired from one in the past eight years. Each time I’ve left a job, I’ve gotten a little bit closer to my true purpose. In light of that, I don’t consider any of these job losses as actual losses. I am grateful for every experience and for the reminders that I need to return to my purpose. So, today, on the fourth anniversary of officially opening Inhabit Yoga, I am re-doubling my efforts to become visible to the community so that I can serve in the way that I am meant to serve. You might guess, based on the photo associated with this post, that I sometimes feel like a loser. Maybe I am a loser (baby [cue Beck]) by many people’s standards, but as long as I continue losing that which does not serve my higher purpose, I’m okay with that. Let it all fall away!
If you feel periodically distracted from what you KNOW you should be doing, take heart! You are not alone. The universe will continue to remind you and redirect you back to the path that is uniquely yours. However, I recommend listening closely and carefully, so you don’t require visceral reminders of your off-track-ness. A consistent and mindful yoga practice can help with this. Observing your body and mind during yoga is like peering through a window into your soul—it is a very powerful learning experience!
If you’d like to connect, please reach out. I welcome your feedback, thoughts, and comments.
Namaste.